I think i am seriously down on luck .
My prelim results just sucks like hell except my maths results which are a little better .
Social Studies, geography, history - i dont have any high hopes and i guess ive flunked both already .
Eng - a little confidence
Physics - i have a feeling that it is going to be alright

Chemistry : the worse subject .
It started of badly when i was in secondary three , i hated it totally .
No matter how hard i tried to score well , work hard or even strive , i never did . Until the end of the year , i scored 45 marks which is a fail .
i wanted to give up and when i seek Mr Lim for advise , i still remember him saying that ," You can give it a try but if u put effort into it, i think you can at least get a B4" .
At that moment of time , i thought ," B4 ? i dont want to get results like this ." So , i was on the verge on dropping to combined sciences which i did not . I believed that if i hang on there and work harder , i might at least hit a B4 by prelims in sec four .
Really , really , i gave in my best effort . i did papers mr lim gave although i might complete it later but at least i completed them and those questions that i didnt know , i asked my tuition teacher which i just got this year to help me with Chemistry .
During Mid year exams , i managed to score a 50 marks - although it is just a borderline pass , it was the first time thus i was really glad and thought my goal towards B4 was close .
I started to understand Chemistry , i started to know them better but i realise i didnt know how to apply them during examinations .
perhaps it is due to the confidence in me towards chemistry , perhaps i just felt that it wasnt for me .
I knew i gave in my best effort i could .
Before Prelims , i read my textbks , understood them and even done the ten year series ( most ) .
However the results i got now are still a piece of shit . first in class from the back ? how great . ive got a tuitiion teacher to guide me along , i gave in my best effort and im giving up , really .
Maybe Chemistry is just not for me , not for me !
i regretted not giving up on it earlier .
i regretted believing too much in myself to be able to do something which i totally cant .
i regretted ..

not only is this prelim results demoralising , it is also making me give up on chemistry ]:
at least a B in my O lvl cert ? dream on .
i guess i should be contented with just a C .

i think i feel better speaking up here now .
i cant seem to find a correct person to talk to .
my parents might just bombard me with scoldings or just say that all this depends on myself when their mood is better .


overall , im just dumb, stupid and sure to score badly for my Os .
i just dont feel like studying now .
i feel lost and dont know where im aiming for .

bye